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What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | Robert Waldinger

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What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? If you think it's fame and money, you're not alone – but, according to psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, you're mistaken. As the director of 75-year-old study on adult development, Waldinger has unprecedented access to data on true happiness and satisfaction. In this talk, he shares three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life. TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more. Find closed captions and translated subtitles in many languages at http://www.ted.com/translate Follow TED news on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/tednews Like TED on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TED Subscribe to our channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/TEDtalksDirector
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Текстовые комментарии (3992)
joanne g (10 часов назад)
wow so true so true like what gabor mate was saying yrs ago
Bas bzb (14 часов назад)
its funny because he is rich
IO9802 (17 часов назад)
Hmm, for me to be happy I specifically want to _not_ be famous. I can't even fathom why anyone would want fame. I do wanna be rich though. And that's logical, you can buy and afford a lot more when you're rich, which contributes to your happiness.
Jeremiah Smith (18 часов назад)
Lots of these comments are about money... Seems some people are not getting the message.
Chris Thomas (19 часов назад)
What is best in life? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women.
skrrt skrrt (23 часа назад)
Great im going to fcking die really quickly then
Egg Puppy (23 часа назад)
Me as a forever aloneer: *Call it bull and leaves denying the entire world.* *not sad at all*
maruthesh s (1 день назад)
Alex Sage (1 день назад)
After this video I became a good person... I used to abominate everyone before this...
Dzikri Qalam (1 день назад)
Who wanna make friends
Carolina Olalde (1 день назад)
Que estudio tan más cierto. Uno se la lleva pensando en tantas cosas que a veces deja de lado lo que verdaderamente es más importante en la vida. Hay que hacer reflexión y enfocarnos en la unión familiar y circulo social.
Liberamente (1 день назад)
What do you do when most of your relationships are just kind of negative? Maybe the problem is me, but everyone else seems too toxic, constantly complaining and just being negative. It seems very few people are truly wishing someone the best, or interested in deep conversations, which is why I crave. What do you I do?
DrB1900 (2 дня назад)
He's describing a correlation, but assuming it's a causal one. Maybe it just goes the other way: happy healthy people are better able to make close relationships.
Ali (2 дня назад)
Oh! my dear Jillian Smith you are just going very emotional, I just want you to understand that if will keep on thinking about the certain things that these are possible and these are not, you are just limiting your activities and weakening your brain capability. I am not saying that you should need to think and try about impossible things. I mean you need to always think about things which are possible but not make categorises of the impossible things, just think and try the possible and right thing in your life and be positive.
Ali (2 дня назад)
I think, for a certain person the life becomes happy and healthy when he/she thinks about to give the benefit for whole society, it means that if he or she wants to acquire a healthy and happy life than they should need to create positiveness in themselves, and sorry to say but it is a fact that the most of the people were unhappy from their life due their negative thinking.
Kenneth Welch (2 дня назад)
Instead of showing the useless family portraits on the projector, put the study results? Maybe a chart or diagram instead of "more" or "better" which no serious intellectual relies on
Ian H. (2 дня назад)
Not having traditional milestones or gifts like graduation, marriage, children, grandchildren or good jobs made me unhappy. Being told I wasn’t a role model for my nieces and nephews sealed the deal.
Sydney Austin (2 дня назад)
Interesting...But are there men of color in this study?
Grass55the (2 дня назад)
Could it be the opposite? Like people as a group accept men who are happy, healthy and with high social status over those who are sad and unhealthy. Just saying maybe good relationship is the reason, not the cause.
Cesar Pena (3 дня назад)
Try being gay on grndr and slightly overweight... Ostracized af
Jillian Smith (3 дня назад)
So if family feuds are hard on the ones holding the grudges, how is it on those against whom the grudges are felt?  And frankly, sometimes you have to get away from toxic family members...then what?  And how can you guarantee you meet and keep a good partner for you?  Maybe those men who did so well were simply the lucky ones?  The ones who met the right person/people, the ones less damaged by early childhood traumas, the ones more open to others because for them it had been rewarding.  This is descriptive, not prescriptive.  We all keep good relationships if we can, don't we?  We all accept good ones if we can find them, right?
_Tarberry23 SA (3 дня назад)
Salomon Ghitis (3 дня назад)
Honestly, that is not enough data to draw conclusions from. You are suppossed to draw conclusions from multiple studies, not one. Not to mention that this was done exclusively on American Males. So even if you are correct, this may only apply to that group. Not saying this guy is wrong, but that is not how science is supposed to work.
Meitti (3 дня назад)
6:20, welp, I'm fucked.
veti (3 дня назад)
i'm so fucked.
Udyr4lyf (3 дня назад)
Communication is the most important Thing. I hear more and more old/ish People praise communication.
Richard Stiles (4 дня назад)
I had to click it because in the related videos list it said: "What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest stud..." 🐴 🤔 🐎 😎 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I'd say the longest stud does have a good life. Except when he tries to zip his pants, or gets it caught in the door. Or he marries Lorena Bobbitt. 😲
HOUR KOURDA (4 дня назад)
The best solution to be happy in this life is :return and constantly remember his/her God who created us and who we will return. The God who created the sky,earth,all things on the earth,planet and who had planned everything for us
Tzipporah V (4 дня назад)
Yeah, I'm screwed.
Nolan Park (4 дня назад)
2x speed
BubyM B (4 дня назад)
If you say money isnt the key to happiness, put yourself 10thousand in debt sturggling to find a job under immense pressure then tell me that again. Yes money will not make you very happy but it’s a factor to it
TVgina Gina (4 дня назад)
You can have a good life and a good relationship with yourself, and not with others. People seem to forget that we are born alone and will exit alone. So developing a relationship with self is the most important key to happiness.
Fiona Russell (4 дня назад)
crazy that women couldn't have been followed until it was "about time"
Young Tang (5 дней назад)
Simple: a good life is a life without conflicts or quarrels. Regardless of bad or good life one has, it’s all just the memory. And, when you die, that bit of memory becomes the Higgs Boson and disappears in 1/10000000 second.
Epic Fangirl (5 дней назад)
Why did they study only men? It would be a more fair experiment if they studied men and women equally.
coop6music9lover (5 дней назад)
Great study, but MEN MEN MEN! Understandably, at the time gender equality was still at the bottom of priorities, but surely you could have found at least a few women to interview?? Shame.
Zadda Chandrashekar Rao (5 дней назад)
Carlos Gabriel Hasbun Comandari (5 дней назад)
Confronted with a mass of stupid, untalented, filthy, insecure, selfish, confused, easily persuaded, half-baked humans, the smart person has no choice but isolation and loneliness.
tadaaa (6 дней назад)
are there ways to be happy when i have no true friends? i was once very outgoing and now i just distance myself from people.. whenever i go out with people im jus tat extra one who didnt matter..i thought i had a few friends but slowly i find that nobody actually cares..is it possible to be happy alone?
clavo (6 дней назад)
I graduated from law school and had a terrible lawsuit against a doctor thrust upon me. Other negligent lawyers had let the case go until the Medical victim was about to commit suicide. The Catholic church runs the hospitals here. It became unhealthy for me to be a Catholic. The jeering looks and the jealousy and meanness of fellow parishioners and priests was toxic.
Amy Han (6 дней назад)
Wonderful study, Beautiful speech!
Weareallbeingwatched (6 дней назад)
Why are we building such vicious and antisocial industrial societies?
ХОРОШО (6 дней назад)
I'm lone and I'm very happy. Actually that people constantly complayining about everything is one of the reason I don't like social interactions.
Liberamente (1 день назад)
How old are you? I'm 21 and have the same mentally and yet I think that I might regret it later. Cutting off contact with all of your social circle won't last for long. We're social animals after all, it's how evolution made us. Studies show that it's unhealthy to be alone for long periods of time.
Haleem AH (6 дней назад)
this was good
Buck Bowen (6 дней назад)
Lots of people crying in the comments. Please call 1-800-Get-Ahug.
Henk Spierings (7 дней назад)
Don’t usually like Ted talks, but this one, after the half way mark actually made sense, and gave information that was valuable.
le0shadow (7 дней назад)
What a load of bullshit. What if you always wanted to build good relationships but people just didn't care or never felt the same about you, because they have better options? whether it's because you aren't rich, famous or physically attractive, or simply you're more introvert/shy, socially awkward and find more difficult to have social interactions, so you're naturally more inclined to be unhappier? Nowadays, with so many options, people can afford to be pickier in regards to people they wanna interect with and build a relationship. Therefore that's why we seek for money, fame and personal development, these things will make you more prone to attract good relationships. Completely flawed study.
AdamsCzech (7 дней назад)
well, i'll die soon...still better than live long, miserable and lonely
Ivan Thomson (7 дней назад)
Why is this presentation like an infomercial?
K Y S (7 дней назад)
Dhanushka Kumarage (8 дней назад)
thanks it worked
berhane gebriel (8 дней назад)
What percentage of the so-called minorities inThe Harvardian research you manage since admission not only to study but even to see the campus was full of scare eventhough now the school is begging for minorities to study????
Karzan Khoshnaw (8 дней назад)
guy: money can't buy happiness rich guy: that's a lie we tell poor people to keep them from rioting.
G Rad (8 дней назад)
Eisenstein said, strive for the most simplistic life you can.
Cheryl R. Leigh (8 дней назад)
So...at what point are we going to include women in this study? This was very moving; would highly recommend it be shared and seriously considered. “There isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heart-burnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that. The good life, is built with good relationships” -Mark Twain
K Y S (7 дней назад)
Feminism is the worst thing in the world man.
Steve Igi (8 дней назад)
So i need to become an extrovertet now.
getsharath (8 дней назад)
Surprise, surprise! Humans, social animals, are unhappy when they lack human connections and interactions.
Mell Stardust (8 дней назад)
TreesOnTheBeach (9 дней назад)
This makes me sad. My mother always said "you was a loner and that's bad for you!" Now I'm 48, still a loner, and it's true.
Alan Wafer (9 дней назад)
Does anyone know which mark twain's book he is quoted?
Jerry Perry (9 дней назад)
Good relations make you happy but you don't need them. Being alone on the journey through life is interesting too. One can have a relationship with the universe. The most important is to find peace within yourself.
Commenter Five (9 дней назад)
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is. Many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nuture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Within a wholesome discipline, be gentile with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, there is still beauty in the world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. Disiderata. First seen by me on a hooch wall in I Corp, Vietnam, 1969.
Mehrzaad Mir (10 дней назад)
who was the POTUS he was talking about?
Search4Truth (10 дней назад)
When ever I hear "what if" propositions, I know somebody is about to try and sell me something. The meaning of life. Humanists were asking that question when I was a child, they are still asking it now that I am old. Each time claiming to have the answer. Each time the answer being different. I for one, am not interested in my life being part of an experiment. I've been given 1 life in the world in which to get it right. Before anyone can get anything about life right, they must get the origins of life right. If one's starting point is that their origin is from nothing, by nothing, for nothing and to nothing, it is likely that they will get nothing right in life. If however, one's starting point is that they are created beings, living in created world, then they now have a self-evident truth on which to build. The challenge then is to discover who this Creator is and what He requires of His creation. The Bible claims to be a testament from our Creator. His command to His creation being that we love God, obey His Commandments and love our neighbor as ourselves. That same testament from our Creator says that love is sacrifice. Not desire, certainly not lust, nor a warm fuzzy feeling. We sacrifice selflessly for what we love. The Bible also states that our Creator will teach all who come to Him in humility and contrition. That the very Spirit of God will indwell us and lead us into all truth, if we make ourselves a suitable dwelling place for it. The Created, seeking answers about itself, without a Creator is futile and it is folly. Mankind putting himself in the place of God is the source of every evil in the world since the beginning of time. But don't believe me. You must discover these truths for yourself. I pray that I may at least have pointed someone along the right path.
xy47402 (10 дней назад)
Alain Dedoh (10 дней назад)
Great! Speechless.
Bill Swingle (10 дней назад)
The secret is having a purpose. #1, Get a purpose. #2, Choose a good one. Hint there are many to pick from but only ONE a good one. Choose wisely.
Catherine Decuyper (10 дней назад)
Happiness is a journey, not a final destination
Mrgn Ubas (10 дней назад)
The speech was so really wonderful, wherein the speaker has a good quality in delivering the speech to the audience.It expresses the speech with a good sounds. The gestures is really captivating that makes the listeners understand it clearly. #Principlesofcommunication
Michael Mai (10 дней назад)
So what happen to the lonely people by choice? They die early? I rather be lonely than be social with toxic people or in a toxic relationship. If that ends me early so be it.
IHAB CHENINE (10 дней назад)
صلة الرحم تطيل العمر
JOSE S (11 дней назад)
Smita B (11 дней назад)
I'll study from very young 3-12 years...children are often born with a vision..they lose it while in school.
Jack (11 дней назад)
Happiness should not be the goal of one's life, if so we'd all play video games and do drugs, to escape harsh reality and be happy. Happiness is just a chemical in your brain, and its just a temporary emotion that will come and ago. Life should be lived with intensity. A balanced life should have both happy and sad parts, that way we can be well rounded and the best we can be.
Boyd W (11 дней назад)
Money isn’t the greatest thing,,, it’s health and strong enriching relationships. All of you that have the above are doing better than if you had a room full of gold. I don’t have much contact with my family and they can be toxic. I unknowingly got Lyme disease in my teens and I could never get very far in life. My workaholic family told me to stop faking it until my Lyme diagnosis in 2013. At almost every Christmas dinner from the early 90’s to 2006 at least one of three of my brothers would chew me out,,, right as we were eating. Nobody else defended me,, nobody said anything. I really should have walked out several times. As I deal with Lyme disease the only times they have helped was when I was really sick. Lyme was on its way to killing me in 2015. I fell in love with a young woman at my job in 2006. She was too young and I put off persuing her until she was 29 and out of a relationship. Things I thought were going in the right direction until 2 days after my 50th birthday she said I’ve been dating another guy for several months. Three weeks later she stopped talking to me. I’ve had just a lot of bad luck all my life. I’m 51 now and I’m nearly alone in my battle with Lyme disease. If I don’t find a good wife to marry I doubt I’ll make it past age 60 because the world and many of my hopes and dreams have passed me by as I’ve carried this nasty disease for 35 years.
caramelbilquees (11 дней назад)
I had a lot of friends when I was younger and to be honest a lot of them do use you and only come to you when they have agendas. I had male friends for years who would out of the blue try it on with me and when I didn't want to be their girlfriend disappear
Tanya Onysko (11 дней назад)
Having friends is IMPORTANT.
Kuntal Sarma (12 дней назад)
MGTOW, MAGA.....Modern society sucks.
Jason Statham (12 дней назад)
Social connections - that's basically what he said.
Gajendra Rathod (13 дней назад)
Human evolution is driven by corporation (relations) and not by competition - Darwin
kunika telharker (14 дней назад)
WTH! (14 дней назад)
can u just sta in thailand permanent?
Aron Highgrove (14 дней назад)
Who cares about generations or millennials. I wish people would stop categorizing people this way, it rarely says much about individuals, however it causes biased thinking. Same with age etc. Say what you are convinced of, the people who match will understand. No need to judge or categorize or suggest people have certain features, wishes etc. All this putting people into group does, is make people behave more like what they are expected to behave.
Felipe Reigosa Teixeira (14 дней назад)
I don't buy it, or at least I don't think it applies to everyone. I'm pretty much a hermit (a secular one) and pretty happy. It was when I was forced to be around people, when I was in school and so on that I was miserable.
Naieem Ali (14 дней назад)
Another proof that the Prophet Muhammad(peace be upon him) was divinely inspired by the One True God. This was the Prophet's advice clear as day. I knew a Christian woman who was demon possessed for many years and by simply reading some short chapters of the Quran in English she completely destroyed the demons.Shocking but true!!!
Paola Veronica (14 дней назад)
Love it
a64750 (8 дней назад)
Health, eat less, stop Tobacco, Alcohol, meat, cheese, dairy, egg, oil. ask Dr. McDougall & Dr. Ellsworth Wareham
ki j (14 дней назад)
I now feel isloated from the rest in the world.. the capabilities of speaking and communciating with others now on the decline.
AMANDA NERENBERG (14 дней назад)
Check out my Ted Talk!! https://youtu.be/U_2txPQAX_0
egbert88 (14 дней назад)
I thought this was UK Labour party political party leader Jeremy Corbyn in the thumbnail.
Bhas Koro (14 дней назад)
Mater suwun Mbah...Wejangane
Edo Ahmad (14 дней назад)
This video is inspirational and a proof that not all famous people are happy . We have seen lots of social media icons fall into disarray and succumb to depression ; some due to the overwhelming attention that is crippling, and others cuz they desire solace and be live privately as a normal person. What was intriguing about the video is that the numbers of friends is irrelevant, but the quality of those relations is what sustains us as human beings. I consider myself introvert to an extent simply because I choose my battles and desires solitude at times. But never have I thought of severing my relations to those I trust and depend on the most. I keep in touch and ask about their lives and that makes me happy. When the going get tough, I find them by my side. If you can find at least one person standing by you in your worst ordeal, then you, sir, are a happy person simply because you have "quality" in your life. Amazing video.
Justice human-rights (14 дней назад)
Poverty makes a good life.
Wathos Internos (15 дней назад)
Pure bullshit.
R.B. (15 дней назад)
Who was the President?
Man Sour (15 дней назад)
A good life means good relationship with God an d as a result with others ,nothing but that .
Eric Kaminski (15 дней назад)
Naren Baskara Rao (15 дней назад)
The president he mentioned was John F. Kennedy
LennyKravitz101 (15 дней назад)
It took teams of Harvard researchers 75 years to figure this out?
Nelson Montana (15 дней назад)
What he's really saying is, you better hope on being very, very, lucky.
Orange (15 дней назад)
a daily income of 1million euro after tax will make me happy

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